Licks and tail wags! Or for my human readers, Hello! My name is Iris. Here’s a little write up…
About dog poop.
We canines put a lot of time and care into hunting down the perfect spot to deposit our potty memos. One cannot just zero-in on the one inch diameter of sacred ground. Pacing back and forth is involved to double check – Nay! Quadruple check – that a prime spot is not overlooked. There is also deep sniffing that must be done.
Casual whiffs won’t cut it.
All of our olfactory nerves need to be engaged along with razor sharp concentration. Self-discipline is also needed. A random sound or flying bug can ruin the spot. A proper dog has the self-control to abort, start over, and find another sacred site.
I look forward to getting messages. They’re often waiting for me at the usual spots, like that one corner of lawn, that 5th tree in a row of 6, or that one mini rose bush a block over (which hasn’t gotten me yet.) I lean my entire 12 pounds forward, so much so that I’m on tippy-paws, and I stretch my neck out like a bird to smell them all. I love my leash. It’s a great counter balance. I couldn’t get a good “lean in” without it.
I put careful consideration into where I leave my own notes, but they’re promptly deleted by my human, who likes to scoop them up into a baggy.
I would love to get my first Like, but my posts are never smelled.
What’s up with that? Besides my own human, I’ve seen others exhibit the same covert behavior, but not everyone does it. Some let their dogs’ emojis lay around for weeks. By the end of a month, there’s not only Likes, but many Comments as well.
The only reasonable explanation I can come up with is that my person, and the various others who delete their dogs’ messages, are the overprotective type. They just don’t want their dog’s business being smelled by the whole world (ba-dum-bum-ching!). Kind of uptight and behind the times, if you ask me.
But, I suppose the world is big and scary. You never know what kind of dog you’re attracting. And what if a dog wants to meet, but you don’t? I suppose that would be awkward. Or worse yet, a dog could spread false rumors about you and leave mean, little fliers all over the neighborhood. No matter how unfair, they can’t be un-posted.
So, I’ve decided to forgive my human for this small transgression. Her intentions are good. She only wants to keep me safe from strange dogs. It’s OK if she secrets away #2.
After all, there’s always #1.
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